


A Christmas Miracle

by blueartemis07



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A dead person can't die again, Gen, Humor, not quite crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 00:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13135713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueartemis07/pseuds/blueartemis07
Summary: Sometimes, what Sybill says should be taken seriously.





	A Christmas Miracle

It was at Dumbledore's funeral that things started happening. Trewlaney's eyes rolled back in her head as she was walking back toward the castle, and she fell to the floor. It just happened (well, of course it did, Fate couldn't have it any other way) that Harry, Hermione and Ron were walking back behind her and stopped to catch her.

__

Unwelcome gifts

Unwanted child

The collection of old

Better than gold

Hotter than fire

Funeral pyre

Words of wisdom

Drops of pain

Bound with hair of the unseen

To stop the flight of death

"Harry, that sounds like a real prophecy," Hermione said.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you are the unwelcome child, because my parents didn't say I was unwelcome, they just weren't going to stop unless they had a girl," Ron said.

"Ronald Weasley! That was just cruel!" Hermione stomped her foot.

"Wha-? Why? I didn't mean Harry's real parents didn't want him, but we all know about his horrid aunt. I mean, the only person who has an aunt worse than Harry is Malfoy!" Ron exclaimed.

At that very Ron proclamation, Harry laughed. "Sounds like all I have to do is get all my crappy gifts my very delightful family has given me and wrap them in Thestral hair to stop Voldemort."

They all stopped short and stared at one another.

"It couldn't be that easy, Harry, could it?" asked Hermione.

"Let's ask Luna if she knows how to get Thestral hair," said Ron. "It'll be better than traipsing around Britain hoping Harry figures out a way to use his scar as a horcrux soliloquy."

"I think you mean sonar, Ron," Harry said.

"Sonar, soliloquy, sandwich, whatever," replied Ron.

Hermione shook her head. "Look, if we aren't going to go hunting, we can't stay anywhere that You-Know-Who can find us, either. We need a place to research and work. I doubt it will be as easy as tying up old things with thestral hair."

"We can stay at Grimmauld Place," said Harry.

"Sounds like a plan, then. Let's go get some food," said Ron.

The three puttered around the Burrow, all the while trying to see if they could figure out what the prophecy meant, trying to keep what they were doing secret from Molly and still being made to help with Bill's wedding plans.

When the Death Eaters attacked the reception and everyone scattered, Harry, Hermione and Ron went to Grimmauld Place.

"Kreacher!"

"Half-blood Master calls Kreacher?"

"Kreacher, Hermione, Ron and I are going to use this as a base to work on destroying The Dark Lord. He has something called horcruxes that we need to destroy. I think one of them was here in this house once," Harry said.

"Master is going to help Kreacher follow good Master Regulus last instruction?" Kreacher looked almost giddy.

Then his face fell. "Shifty Dung-person stole the locket."

"I think we might still be able to fix that," Harry said. "A Seer told us we could manage."

"Kreacher will help," said the elf.

"Fine, is there any way we can block this house from anyone with a Dark Mark?" Hermione asked.

"Kreacher is not strong enough. But maybe if new Master had more elves?"

"Dobby!" Harry called. Before the word stopped sounding in the air, the excitable little elf appeared.

"Master Harry Potter called for Dobby?"

"Dobby, Kreacher says he isn't strong enough to set wards against Death Eaters here so that we can work on solving this new prophecy, but he asked if we had more elves. Do you know what he is talking about?" Harry asked.

"Master Harry Potter wants to use elf-wards?!" Dobby yelled then started dancing around.

"Dobby!"

"Yes, Missy Hermy?"

"What are elf-wards?"

"A strong elf can defend his wizard-family home," Dobby said. "Master Harry Potter wishes Dobby to defend his home?"

Harry looked at Hermione and Ron who were frantically nodding their heads. "Yes, please, Dobby."

Dobby nodded his head decisively. "Dobby will talk to Kreacher about house, then wards will be done soonest."

The Ministry was quite surprised when the Black family house disappeared from their tracing station. But nothing they did was able to bring it back.

When September rolled around, none of them were surprised that Snape was Headmaster. What they were surprised about was that he started to send them messages through Phineas Nigellus.

Due to Snape's information, Ollivander, Luna and a few other students were rescued early on in the Carrow's reign of terror.

They also helped Harry and Hermione parse the Prophecy.

"Very well, Mr. Potter, it seems here that you have most of the ingredients here you need," said Mr. Ollivander in early December of 1997, as they all sat around the drawing room in Grimmauld Place after dinner.

"What do you mean, sir?" Harry asked.

"We've determined you are the unwanted child. Ms. Lovegood has provided us with Thestral hair. There is a platinum-plated gold cauldron in the library, and you are perfectly able to shed blood, sweat and tears, right?"

"There's a gold cauldron in the library!" shouted Ron.

"All we need is a good binding potion and a place that can withstand a pyre," continued Mr. Ollivander as though Ron hadn't spoken.

"What of the unwelcome gifts?" asked Hermione.

"It is almost Christmas," said Luna. "Did you ever get any unwelcome gifts?"

"Oh, you mean like all the maroon jumpers my mum keeps giving me?" asked Ron.

"Exactly!" said Mr. Ollivander. "But we are speaking of Mr. Potter, here."

Harry nodded. "Dobby!"

"Good Master Harry Potter called Dobby?"

"Just Harry, Dobby. Anyway, please get me the cardboard box in the bottom of my trunk, please."

The little group circled around the table in front of the fire. Harry dumped out the box, revealing a 50 pence piece from the Dursleys, maggots from Kreacher, a toothpick from the Dursleys, a fanged wallet from Hagrid, a tissue, again from the Dursleys, and dog biscuits from Aunt Marge.

"I will see what sort of binding potion might work with this," said Hermione.

"I will see if there is something that will call things, too, Hermione," said Luna. "Voldemort took Harry's blood. I'm sure Harry wants it back."

"I will go chop some onions, then work out," said Harry.

"I'll get the vials to collect the tears and sweat," said Neville.

"I will look for the Black family athame and get the cauldron," said Ginny.

All of them did what they said they would, then Kreacher pulled out a strange set of fire irons to set up the cauldron in the fireplace with the biggest chimney. "Master should put in the Yule log."

"I will inform him, Kreacher," said Mr. Ollivander.

Once Neville returned with the vials of tears and sweat, and Hermione and Luna had agreed on the combined binding/calling potion, they begun.

After placing the Yule log on the fire, and heating up the cauldron, they placed the sweat and the tears in the bottom, followed by the various gifts which had been wrapped carefully in the tissue and tied up with the Thestral hair, and finally after everything started to swirl on its own, Harry was instructed to slice across his palm with the athame and drip three drops of blood in.

As Harry watched the potion swirl, he was inspired. "The unwanted child is using the unwelcome gifts. Unseen death binds them in a cauldron better than gold. I want my blood back. I want to end Voldemort, and help Kreacher finish his duty. I just want my life to be my own."

As soon as he finished speaking, the potion shot up out of the chimney.

Everyone looked at each other, that was an unexpected reaction.

At Hogwarts, the castle opened a hole in the ceiling of the Great Hall, after a tiara broke free of the Room of Requirement and then decapitated the Carrows on the way out.

At the Ministry, Dolores Umbridge was frantically trying to hold on to her locket, when in a final attempt to break free, it twisted itself until the gold chain broke. Unfortunately for Umbridge, it strangled her in the meantime.

Nagini found herself flying through the air at Malfoy Manor and bit everyone she floated by, not happy at not being on the ground.

She was followed by Voldemort, who was angrily Crucioing everyone as he flew by.

They broke a large window on their way out.

The Goblins knew better than to try to argue with the swirl of magic that pulled an ancient cup from an ancient vault.

Harry fell to his knees as his scar split open and black pus oozed out.

The pus got caught in the newly swirling cauldron and fell in with a splash, as the potion returned to the cauldron, which somehow got bigger and bigger and caught every single item holding a piece of Voldemort's soul.

Hermione cataloged everything as it fell in. "Harry's scar, oooh, Rowena Ravenclaw's tiara, is that Slytherin's locket?" She looked at Kreacher who was bouncing with a terrifying look of glee on his face. "Guess so. Nagini! Helga Hufflepuff's cup and oh, dear, is that Voldemort?"

Harry looked up in a daze, only to see everything crack open and spill its soul piece back into the very unhappy Voldemort, who started to die of blood loss because Harry's blood escaped his body through the pores and flew into the vials that once held sweat and tears. Once he stopped breathing, the now hugely enlarged maggots ate him. Then they swirled once again and turned into regular maggots, who burned up as though they were some scary version of cherries jubilee. At the end, Harry was left with a few ashes at the bottom.

Everyone who had found sanctuary at Grimmauld Place looked at each other and cheered.

The portrait of Phineas Nigellus went to Hogwarts to give Headmaster Snape the news, prompting him to send the heads of house down to the "cells" to release the children he had protected from the Carrows.

And they all had a very Happy Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Teachers Lounge Christmas Tree Gift fic 2017. Used a prompt from Perspicacity. Prompt: Harry received some questionable holiday gifts over the years: a 50 pence piece from the Dursleys, maggots from Kreacher, a toothpick from the Dursleys, a fanged wallet from Hagrid, a tissue, again from the Dursleys, dog biscuits from Aunt Marge... Little did anyone know that this motley collection would prove to be the key to defeating Voldemort.


End file.
